The Martins has reached her fundraising goal on HandUp!

About me.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, along with my older brother, sister and both of my parents. We grew up poor and struggled throughout most of our childhood. My parents argued and fought a lot. My mom was verbally abusive and also had alcohol dependency issues throughout my whole life. I had my son at age 19 and his father was very abusive as well. He physically and verbally abused me. He stabbed me 4 times, and got to the point where he left me unconscious and even threatened my son. It was hard for me to leave the situation at the time, and it went on for 8 years. It really damaged my son, so it's hard for him to express himself now. My son also became very violent for a period of time, just like his father. He has a lot of behavioral issues but I, along with his therapist, continue to work and support him. Fortunately, therapy has met many of his needs. It has provided him with a space to express himself freely. I've seen a tremendous improvement and I am very proud of him, especially since he recently won the African American Honor Roll Society through the San Francisco Unified School District.

Being a single parent has been a struggle for me. I've been through a lot, have had relationships with individuals that have caused me more harm than good. I've been to prison, and I have lost my dad and sister within a 3 week period. I have also been homeless and stayed at shelters. It's hard because I don't have a support system, but I continue to move forward and move in a positive direction. I remember that at the end of the day my son is watching all of this, so I'm working with different organizations so that we can have a fresh start.

My backstory.

My son and I currently have our own place. However, my income has decreased so I am still working on paying bills. It is a frustrating situation to know that I don’t have the funds to pay anything right now, but I continue to be really grateful that I’m here. I’m grateful that even though I don’t have bed, and have back pain, I still have a place to sleep. I’m also currently working with other agencies to figure out how to budget and make the best use of the resources that are being provided to me. One of my current challenges is being in a new city and learning about the different resources in this new area. My other challenge is my past, it still bothers me. My son’s current challenge is his hearing. It’s been hard to get in touch with a doctor and it’s also very expensive, specially right now that I don’t have a stable job. I worked before I moved to this city doing administrative jobs, working for the department of human services and Arriba Juntos. The jobs didn’t work out but I’m hoping to get my son situated soon so that I can get back to work. He was previously in a behavioral school, but got transferred to a school that would better fit his needs - providing him with services that will help him improve his speech and comprehension. He’s improved a lot and continues to work hard to reach his IEP/academic, social and personal goals.

My goals, moving forward.

I’ve been through a lot of abuse and trauma and what I need right now are basic necessities to move forward. I came from nothing so it will be a start and a push forward. I’m currently fundraising for beds and a tablet for work. I just began to work with Avon but since I don’t have a computer, it’s hard to promote and get customers, especially since I am a bit shy. I have already started and hope to continue working with them. My goals moving forward are to find a stable job. I also want to learn how to drive. I want to be free and self-sufficient. I don’t want to argue or go through unnecessary stuff. I want to be normal and spend time with him son, be able to go to the park and have some type of normalcy for us.

Other things I'd like to share about myself.

One of my proudest moments is when I saw my son on stage getting a medal from the African American Honor Roll Society through the SFUSD. People have told me that my son is violent and that he is going to end up in jail so it’s amazing to see this accomplishment and make people realize that he can accomplish many things. I don’t want to give up on my son and I know people can change so I continue to work hard for him. At school he asks for help, he likes to read to the Kindergartener and likes to interact with the other children, teachers and other staff. He’s very outgoing and makes me happy, especially since I’m very shy. I love cooking for him, and playing together. He’s my only child and I really appreciate the help I’ve received. I’ve been crossed over in my life so much and am thankful because I’m not used to programs helping me. I do believe that good things do actually happen and I am hopeful because of my son. To all of you reading my story I just want to say that I really just appreciate you listening to my story. I also want to encourage you, if you feel like you’re struggling or know anybody that is struggling, you can do it too. You can fight for what you want, you just have to try.